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Hotel Youzhni      L

Street Address: Moscow, Russia

Location: Fair

Nearest Metro:

Staff Speaks English? No.

Would I Stay Here? Definitely not.

At the Youzhni you will find some of the most pathetic hotel workers in all of Moscow.

I had a good laugh after I got safely away from the hotel, because what happened was just so pathetic and so outrageous and almost unbelievable. Here's how it went...

First impression was not good with the lobby. We approached the front desk and gave our spiel. Our mission was to see the rooms. They said sorry, all the rooms are full and we can't show any to you. Behind them are the room keys. Ninety percent of the keys were there, which meant nobody was in those rooms, since guests must turn in the keys when they leave the building. So they must have thought we were pretty stupid. We pressed for more information. I found out rooms cost 700 to 2200 rubles. But then they said they only deal with business travellers with business visas. I asked if the rooms were air conditioned. They said no and that this was a very modest hotel. They said they have been wanting to reconstruct the hotel for 6 years. I asked how many rooms the hotel had, and then another woman approached and snapped to my assistant:

"Don't tell him anything. That's very confidential!"

"Go to other hotels. Don't look at our hotel!"

"We're not interested in clients!"

Everything was spoken with such bizarre contempt... as if she were the queen and we were worthless peons. There was no softening the blow. It was flat-out Soviet old school. A bunch of lazy communist morons work there.

Back in the old days, before the collapse of the Soviet Union, hotel space was quite scarce and the hotel queens wielded their power often - rudely shooing away those deemed unworthy, saying they had absolutely no vacancies. And if someone important was next in line, maybe with a little cash payment to the hotel queen, that person would then get a room. In those old days you had to beg to the queens to get a room. All these years later, some of those gatekeepers are still working at the worst of the worst hotels, like at the Hotel Youzhni.

Boy, that encounter was so pathetic, I couldn't help laughing outside along Leninsky Prospect. Can you imagine it... 90% of the rooms vacant and they say they don't need customers? She was wicked to me too. Sometimes doing hotel inspections is funny. It was like something you might see in a dumb Saturday Night Live skit (a well-known USA comedy television show).

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